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This is a place to look at the humorous side of life and laugh at the everyday things we all go through and also just a view of my twisted impression on some things. Have fun and enjoy!

Friday, April 30, 2010

I Can't Pull Off A Pin

I'm not a pin person and nobody in my circle wears fancy, decorative pins. I always wonder how the pin people stay in business. Who is buying decorative pins these days? Sometimes I see a pin somewhere and I think, "That pin is gorgeous!" I never buy it though because I already fell for that once.

I have a very pretty pin that I bought years ago. It's sitting in my kitchen cupboard near my antique plates and teacup sets. Why is it there? That's where the pretty stuff that I don't use is. Actually, the pin part broke so it can't even be pinned on. I take it out now and then and look at it and try to figure out something I can glue it to or some way I can decorate something with this beautiful pin.

I wonder how it would look glued to a lamp shade. No, that's stupid. Maybe I can sew it onto a purse. What if I glue a magnet on it and use it as a fridge magnet? I could hook it to a chain and wear it as a necklace. I walk around the house looking for something I can glue it to. I eye the cat and her pin-less collar but I, the pin is almost as big as her head. I never come up with the right idea so I put it back in the cupboard until the next time I (stupidly) think I'm going to find some use for this beautiful, broken pin.

The only ladies I ever see actually wearing decorative pins are ladies in skirt or pant suits. Think Barbara Walters. She can pull off a pin. How about Queen Elizabeth? Ladies in politics can wear pins. I just am not a pin wearing lady and thinking of these other ladies, I have to wonder if I'm really cut out for wearing pins or if I even want to be a member of the fancy-schmancy pin wearing club. I'm more of the little flashing pumpkins at Halloween type of club. I also have a little ice skating snowman pin that my daughter gave me years ago that is worth about a million dollars to me.

I'm a t-shirt and jeans lady. I never look at my outfit and wonder what pin will complete my look. I look at my outfit and wonder if anyone can really see that mustard spot from lunch which is pretty stupid if you think about it.

Why would any person look in the mirror, see a spot on her t-shirt and wonder if other people can see the spot? Do their eyes not work as good as mine? I wear glasses so my eyes don't even work good. If I can see a spot on my shirt without my glasses on, then I'm pretty darn sure the rest of the world can too. It's kind of like asking yourself if your shirt is really wrinkly or not. Another stupid question.

If you ask yourself that question, your shirt is definitely wrinkly and your silly tricks to make it unwrinkly don't work. One of my special tricks is to lightly run my hand through water and then "wipe" the wrinkles out. Really? Do I think that works? I must because I keep trying it. The only way to really get the wrinkles out is to throw it in the dryer but I don't want to wait forever - 5 minutes or so. In the old days, my grandma used this thing called an iron. I don't know if they even make them anymore.

I think what it is, is that I have to at least feel like I've made some kind of effort to leave the house not looking like I sleep in the streets. I blotted the mustard spot so now it's even more noticable because it's in the middle of a huge wet spot. Usually I grab a small bit of toilet paper to rub it so now there's little bits of toilet paper on the wet, mustard-spotted, wrinkled t-shirt. "Lookin' good!", I think. If my pretty pin wasn't broke, I could have just put it over the mustard spot. Next time you see Barbara Walters on tv, put your glasses on and examine her pin to see if you can spot the mustard behind it.